Nicely!!!!!

Somewhere between the time they first started to talk and age 5, I seem to have managed to teach my first two kids to be reasonably polite. I'm not claiming that they are perfectly polite, by any means...but they are at least more polite than average children because strangers routinely comment on their pleasantries...

Just like the hat-training, I attribute my moderate success in this arena to the tutelage of my sister, and incessant reminders and consistent reinforcement: The "Mummy sounds like a broken record" method! As I work on ingraining the politeness gene into my third child, I am quite certain that I have heard myself say the words "Oh dear, you forgot to ask nicely!" about 40 million times!

Kenzie was an early and adept talker (who continues to be a socialite and conversationalist to this day!) By the time she was 2 1/2,  my "Ask Nicely" campaign had resulted her being able to deftly string together excuse me's, pleases and thank-you's appropriately within context. She had quickly integrated the concept and skills associated with using good manners to win friends and influence people.

Cooper was a late talker who was plagued by an "antsy impatience" that I believe stemmed from the constant frustration of knowing what he wanted long before he could find the words to convey it. So Cooper was more of a "truncated blurter" when it came to making requests. "Not milk! Juice!" "No! A yellow cup!" "No lid Mummy!" The "Ask Nicely" campaign was slow to sink in for Cooper, and escalated his frustration accordingly...till one day, when he appeared to be thoroughly flummoxed by an "ask nicely" standoff, it finally occurred to him that maybe he would get what he wanted if he gave me what I wanted. He took a deep breath fueled by resignation, mustered a deliberately controlled sweet tone of voice, and a duress-inspired "pleasant" smile to match, and blurted, "NICELY!!?!!?!" I was so caught off guard by the simplicity and effort of his compliance, that my heart melted, and for almost a year afterward, a hearty, well-delivered "NICELY!!!!" became an acceptably polite form of request at our house!